Monday, September 24, 2007

The Bishop gets lost in time

Actually, having actually gotten the Doctor Who DVD boxed set Lost in Time—which brings together the various bits and pieces of serials left incomplete from the Hartnell and Troughton eras—some number of years ago, the Bishop thought it might be time to give them a proper watch and pass on his thoughts. This entry will get progressively longer as he makes his way through.

'THE CRUSADE'
Two episodes remain—'The Lion' and 'The Wheel of Fortune—which suggest a story as marvelous in its own way as 'The Talons of Weng-Chiang'. Indeed the comparison is just, because while Robert Holmes may have scripted all of Doctor Who's best lines, David Whitaker turns out to be the better writer of dialogue. His Shakespeare may be cod Shakespeare, but as every gourmet knows, fish and chips may make a fine meal when the stars are aligned just right. That some of that cod Shakespeare is being said by Julian Glover was never going to hurt, either, and the Bishop is once again impressed by an actor who never pretends, nor adopts a manner, yet is always exactly who he is supposed to be. Bernard Kay and others match him, and it is only the two regular WilliamsHartnell and Russellwho seem a little out of place on this collective stage: Hartnell does not so much forget lines as forget the point of them, and Russell doesn't really have the chops to match the likes of Glover. Still, Hartnell does the trickster as well as any, and one has to admire Russell's Ian, all no-nonsense pluck in the face of the dithering, tempestuous but ultimately wise king. Jacqueline Hill breaths a thoughtful calm which shows how very good she could be. Jean Marsh is unforgivably hot.

'THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER'
Part four of this, known as 'The Final Game' at the time, is not near as bad as its reputation probably suggests. This is not to say it is good, but surreality in Who is like a blanket that can hide a multitude of sins. With Hartnell inexplicably missing for much of his scenes 'with' Michael Gough, the latter declaims as though he is reading off a cue card somewhere in his peripheral vision, and the game Steven and Dodo play is interesting much more for its camp eeriness than its dramatic immediacy. What is most intriguing, though, is the way the Toymaker's realm explodes instead of blinking out of existence—an illogical piece of direction which in the strange world of sixties Doctor Who is accidentally exactly right.

KEVIN STONEY . . .
. . . doesn't seem to be trying too hard in 'Day of Armageddon', the second episode of 'The Daleks' Master Plan'—much like the rest of it, apart from some wonderfully loopy costumes by Daphne Dare. This is a Hartnell that feels very much like a Troughton, and not in a good way. Still, Stoney has a way of keeping you interested in what he does, even when you have no idea why you're interested in what he does or whether he has done anything to be interested in. When he actually does do something, as in 'The Invasion', he is quasi-superb.

'THE UNDERWATER MENACE'
If you want to see when Doctor Who was crap, you watch the Cartmel years. If you want to see when it was awful, Colin Baker is your man. And if you want to see when it was stupid, ‘Time-Flight’ is as good a serial as any. But if you want to see what people who don’t get Doctor Who mean when they say Doctor Who is bad, you’ll always have episode three of ‘The Underwater Menace’.

There really isn’t much reason to watch this, unless you are the sort who gets a kind of kinky thrill from being slightly bored. The dialogue is functional at best and functionless at worst, and spoken by a cast of characters that, regulars aside, vary only in their tendency to psychosocial maladjustment. It looks—there really is no other word—shocking, and of the set and costume design, the Bishop can only be thankful that it wasn’t shot in colour. Of the tale itself, one scene sums this up. The dippy fish people at one point go on strike. These means, in essence, that they choose to do nothing for part of the story. This is filmed.

And yet there is a sense that this is exactly what Doctor Who is and should be about. A scruffy little man in a shabby frock coat getting up to surreal mischief with a cockney ab, a dolly mod and an eighteenth century Scottish highlander, in a setting that’s half fantasy, half Quatermass and weaves cod ancient Greeks, mad scientists, shipwrecked sailors and tinsel-skinned fish people into a, if not actually believable, at least acceptable, whole. There is also a second sense to this: that Patrick Troughton was and is the Doctor, by whom all others ’fore and since are simply variations on a theme; able without flash or show to paint some technicolour into this throwaway via the nooks and crannies of his marvellous face and a judicious helping of energy and pace.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

The Bishop on Doctor Who: ‘Horror of Fang Rock’

For a name so synonymous with classic Who, there is surprisingly little material on which to anchor the impact of Terrance Dicks. Though he script edited the program for nearly one fifth of its span, he wrote—or at least is credited with writing—only five stories. He had some involvement with ‘The Seeds of Death’, which is hard to sit through. He wrote half of ‘The War Games’ which, even had it been shorn of Mal Hulke’s other half, would still be far too long. After that, despite a four year period of not just steadying the ship but getting it to float again—there is no doubt the Pertwee era is much better than the Troughton one despite both having interesting leads—it’s hard to say how much influence Dicks had qua writing (or re-writing) good episodes; and post his role behind—or perhaps putting together—the scenes, he only penned four stories, of which three were the mechanical ‘Robot, the fallow ‘State of Decay, and the five-out-of-ten-at-best ‘The Five Doctors’ (‘The Brain of Morbius’ coming mostly from the mind of Robert Holmes). Still, if Holmes’s reputation can stand tall on ‘The Time Warrior’, ‘The Talons of Weng-Chiang’ and re-writing all the dialogue for seasons twelve through fourteen, it’s only fair to judge Uncle Terry on his best work, ‘Horror of Fang Rock’. So how good, the Bishop wonders, is it?

It was certainly quite alright when the Bishop was twelve, and a little scary, to boot. (Is twelve too old to be slightly perturbed by Doctor Who?) The actors, who have been dressed up to the nines by the BBC costume drama department, thesp like they think they might actually be in a costume drama, instead of doing what they think supporting types are supposed to do in Doctor Who, and the equally attentive sets could fool one into thinking there are more than three. The direction does what Who direction should—point the camera at the actors and make Tom Baker behave. The lighting may not make a studio look like an outcrop but it does make a studio feel as isolated as one, and of the regulars, Baker, discourteous though he may have been to Pennant Roberts, needs no introduction, and Louise Jameson is probably the best thing ever to have been associated with Doctor Who. After watching her the Bishop, were he to uncover some forgotten tribe of leather-clad savages in the furthest reaches of the earth, would be surprised to find they didn’t speak with RP accents.

But what of Dicks's contribution? Well. There are some marvellous lines for the actors (Leela: ‘It is fitting to celebrate the death of an enemy’. The Doctor: ‘Not in my opinion’), though some naff ones too (‘Enjoy your death as I enjoyed killing you’ is too much even for Jameson to say), and how much of the former were added by Holmes is open to speculation. The plotting is tight but still feels an episode too long (should the shipwrecked crew have been there from the beginning?), and while the claustrophobia is exactly right, it seems like something we are asked to accept rather than something we should believe (rarely has an episode begged the question of why the Doctor shouldn’t go and retrieve some plot device from the TARDIS—and if they’ve mistakenly locked the Rutan inside the lighthouse then, well, leave). The Bishop knows this is Doctor Who, but the lighthouse-diamond-destroyed-mothership thing is a stretch.* And while the episode bravely runs the Hammer Horror Who gauntlet of making the monster a bona fide monster (the Beast of Fang Rock) and making it not, it doesn’t quite succeed: one can’t help but feel a little unsatisfied when one Rutan on an island is just a stand in for a much more terrifying fleet of them in space; by contrast, the mummies in ‘Pyramids of Mars’ were correctly subsidiary, while Magnus Greel in ‘Talons’ made one feel as though the fifty-first century and the late nineteenth were actually one and the same. (Of the current series, Steven Moffat more adeptly pulls off the iconic-horror-that’s-not trick in ‘The Empty Child’/‘The Doctor Dances’ and ‘Blink’.)

And that seems to be the thing about Terrance Dicks—it’s all a bit fifty-fifty, or perhaps six-of-one-half-a-dozen-of-the-other. While he’s no doubt a better contributor to Who’s success than his Target novelisation–hating detractors say, he’s also not quite as good his supporters would ­like us to believe. On the special feature on the ‘Fang Rock’ DVD, he is asked how he would like to be remembered. His answer: professional. And he is probably right. But while it’s always nice to know there’s a professional on hand to take care of things, most of the time if we want more than nice we need a little magic on hand to spice things up, too.

*Oh, and wasn’t this show-a-bit-of-fighting-spirit-and-they’ll-run-away climax already done in ‘The Sontaran Experiment’? For two species of war-obsessed aggressors who have conquered half the galaxy between them, the Sontarans and the Rutans don’t seem to have much pluck.

Monday, September 03, 2007

The Bishop on being a man

Which is like being a kid in a candy store, only to find you are not allowed to buy any of the sweets.

As opposed to being a woman, which is like being a kid in a candy store, only to find that all they actually sell is Brussels sprouts.